Drabble: Contemplating love
Oct. 30th, 2014 02:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eskil_douglas[[Takes place Oct 19, slightly NSFW]]
This isn’t love.
Eskil lies awake watching the beautiful man sleeping beside him, and he’s happy to share his bed with Lawrence - but it isn’t love. He’s sated and warm and grateful and attracted and pleased and so so content - but this isn’t love. They... and it was amazing and Lawrence really... and he felt so... and Lawrence, he is wonderful and caring and funny and respectful and Eskil really likes him and cares for him and wants to please him - but it isn’t love.
It isn’t love, and he knows this only because he have loved before - and at this very moment he can confirm for himself that yes - he did love Becquerel, and at this very moment he can, finally, confirm for himself that he’s over it. He still loves Becquerel - but he’s no longer in love with him, he hasn’t been for awhile now - but really facing that thought is... unsettling.
But as Lawrence snuggles closer, still asleep, Eskil puts his arms around him and pulls him in. It isn’t love, but it’s what Eskil needs. A simple, time-limited affair with a lovely man - no strings, no promises just enjoying their time together and sharing warmth and affection.
With a warm fuzzy feeling, and a warm body pressed to his, Eskil drifts off - smiling.
This isn’t love.
Eskil lies awake watching the beautiful man sleeping beside him, and he’s happy to share his bed with Lawrence - but it isn’t love. He’s sated and warm and grateful and attracted and pleased and so so content - but this isn’t love. They... and it was amazing and Lawrence really... and he felt so... and Lawrence, he is wonderful and caring and funny and respectful and Eskil really likes him and cares for him and wants to please him - but it isn’t love.
It isn’t love, and he knows this only because he have loved before - and at this very moment he can confirm for himself that yes - he did love Becquerel, and at this very moment he can, finally, confirm for himself that he’s over it. He still loves Becquerel - but he’s no longer in love with him, he hasn’t been for awhile now - but really facing that thought is... unsettling.
But as Lawrence snuggles closer, still asleep, Eskil puts his arms around him and pulls him in. It isn’t love, but it’s what Eskil needs. A simple, time-limited affair with a lovely man - no strings, no promises just enjoying their time together and sharing warmth and affection.
With a warm fuzzy feeling, and a warm body pressed to his, Eskil drifts off - smiling.
